Long gone are the times when girls were growing up dreaming about marrying Prince Charming and not having to worry about anything for the rest of their lives. Men are no longer hunting for a perfect housewife and a mother to his ten kids. Okay, some are, but the general trend is all about building a happy, balanced relationship with your loved one. And yet, we are still influenced by dozens of misconceptions as to what a happy relationship should look and feel like. Books, romcoms, and TV shows are also not helping to build an adequate idea of what a marriage is all about. Now you can find more constructive ideas on social media as people are sharing their own non-fictional experience and the things that worked for them. So, here are 7 myths about marriage you should forget about if you want to be happy with your significant other.
Myth #1: Marriage will fix everything
Nope, dear ladies and gents, marriage is not the ultimate remedy for your soul’s pain, depression, and feeling of loneliness. If you had any of those before getting into a relationship and tying the knot, rest assured they’ll come up again sooner rather than later. Your happiness or unhappiness never, and I repeat never-ever depends on the outside factors, be it husband, money, or a pretty home with a white fence. Many people have all that and they are still miserable! Find the root of what made you unhappy in the first place, use a therapist if you need to, and turn into that happy person that will become even more radiant in a relationship with a loved one.
Myth #2: He should be your best friend
Now this is just a delusion that some people spread as a first grade truth. All relationships are different. You husband/wife may be that sort of person you can tell anything at all, but it depends solely on the way you two roll. Some couple are more romantic, others tend to create a bit of drama, and there is no rule saying you have to run to your hubby with every little problem you face. That’s what best friends are for! They do exist for a reason, you know. Chatting with your girlfriend about that lousy day at work over a cup of coffee is just as important!
Myth #3: It should be easy like a fairy tale
Well, here’s the truth – once you tie the knot, the real hardships begin! New challenges will present themselves and you’ll have to deal with them one way or another. Relationships require work, even the happiest ones. Thinking that marriage is an effortless ordeal will only get you and your hubby into trouble. Make sure you understand the responsibility and enjoy the ride!
Myth #4: You’ll never fight
Au contraire, my dear friends, fighting is an essential part of marriage or any relationship for that matter. Happy couples in healthy relationships do that to resolve issues, share opinions, and find out what’s really important to them. If you avoid getting into a fight, suppress your feelings, or naively think that your spouse has no complaints whatsoever, your relationship will end up a disaster. The blast will happen sooner or later! The most important thing is to find common ground and reach some consensus that will please both sides. Then your relationship will evolve.
Myth #5: You have to do everything together, share every experience
Now this one is dangerous because in the early stages of the relationship (or marriage) there is a time when you simply want to be together 24/7, sharing not only your free time, but also hobbies and meetings with friends. Living like that might be fun for a while, but then one of you will need a break and that’s completely normal. Having time for yourself, spending evenings with your friends or a favourite book – all those things are essential for your happiness. Marriage doesn’t make you joined at the hip, on the contrary, each of you remains an individual with his own needs, dreams, and interests.
Myth #6: Compromising all the time will result in a happy marriage
While little compromises here and there made by both sides strengthen the relationship, compromising all the time is the worst thing you can do for a marriage. If you neglect your personal boundaries and hide your pain and stress from your partner, you will gradually become so unhappy that it will be impossible to maintain the relationship. Openness and respect towards each other’s boundaries is essential to building a happy marriage. You have to speak out every time you feel uncomfortable, discuss possible solutions with your spouse, and do the same for him when he’s having some issues. Be patient with each other and always tell the truth.
Myth #7: Stress will kill your marriage
There are different kinds of stress and not all of them are dangerous for marriage. Sometimes stress releases a creative potential that otherwise wouldn’t be available (like a decision to quit job and do what you love the most). A decision to change the city or country can also be stressful, as well as the process of deciding whether to have kids or not. Avoiding stressful situations will not save you from them, so it’s better to be prepared and use them to their fullest potential. That being said, long-term stressful conditions should be dealt with as they will influence both your physical and psychological health.